You know that moment during the holidays when you're a perpetually nice person and you really wish that you could be as mean to people in real life as the things you think in your head but you just can't do that because they've done absolutely no harm to you so you're just sitting there accepting life and smiling nicely and your great grandmother hands you a gift and she's smiling and saying "I hope you like it. I think you will" and you open it and there's this puffy blue sweater thing inside and you're like "oh, wow, that's so nice" and then you see that it's a size large but you're still rolling with it so you're like "and it's so soft" and then you just smile and try not to make eye contact with the family members across the room who know you too well and are definitely losing their shit because then you'll lose your controlled facial expression because all you're thinking in your head is "THE FUCK IS THIS HALF SNUGGIE THING I LOOK LIKE FUCKING WINNIE THE POOH MATED WITH SULLEY".
So, here's to all the controlled faces of comfort and joy that you will be making over the next few days. I'll definitely work on trying to get up a playlist of Christmas songs for you guys who are about to go insane with the 'big day' being so near.
"What Christmas Means To Me" Cee Lo Green
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